This IOS App saved me $1,000 in therapy bills
It only cost me $35/year
According to the National Library of Medicine…
“…the dynamics of the interpersonal relationship contributing 85% to the therapeutic effect whereas the therapeutic techniques contribute 15%.”
Wild right?
This means, in theory, you could get 85% of the healing results, without paying a dime for therapy.
So I decided to test this theory.
Some background.
I’m the stereotypical “Christian-amish-homeschooled kid” — if there is such a thing.
I’ve been through nearly a decade of abuse — primarily sexual.
And I grew up in cult for a while.
As you can imagine, triggers abound and there’s a of healing that’s needed.
Of note, I’ve also been obsessed with psychology since I was a kid.
I’ve read over 100 books on psychology, and I studied it in college.
This is probably why I even considered attempting this, but maybe why is beside the point.
The Method.
- Buy an audio journaling app.
- Everyday, record myself.
(outlining specifically what I recoded, is below).
3. Show no one. Ever.
For this to work, I needed to be 100% honest in the voice recordings. And 100% sure that no one would ever listen to them.
If 85% of the therapeutic result comes from a supportive listener, then I can do that for myself via an audio journal.
The Process.
I opened the app store on my phone and downloaded an audio-journaling app (I downloaded DayOne, but you could download any number of them).
I got the premium version ($35/year) so that it would transcribe what I say, and it would give me 10 minutes to talk instead of 3 minutes in the free version.
I committed to recording. Every. Single. Day. No matter what.
I would go on a walk so that no one would hear me.
Here are the 7 things I would record:
1. What happened today
2. Every emotion I felt
3. What outside stimulus (what someone said, they way they said it, a look someone gave me, etc) that triggered the emotion
And here’s the important part:
4. What story I had to tell myself in order for that outside stimulus to lead to that emotion (example below)
5. Is that story accurate?
6. What is the likely reality?
7. Do I need to communicate this?
Here’s an example:
One night, my partner told me “Go take out the trash” and immediately I felt disrespected.
4. What story I had to tell myself in order for that outside stimulus to lead to that emotion
So I opened my app and asked myself, “what story do I need to tell myself in order for my partner saying, ‘go take out the trash,’ that would lead me to feeling disrespected?”
I realized I would have to be telling myself, “She doesn’t care that I just worked all day and that I pay most of the bills. She’s taking me for granted.”
5. Is that story accurate?
So I asked myself, “Is it true that she doesn’t care about me and that she’s taking me for granted?”
Looking at her behavior normally, I realized this story was wildly inaccurate.
6. What is the likely reality?
The more likely reality was that she was distracted and that’s why she told me to take out the trash instead of asking.
7. Do I need to communicate this?
No, I just needed to breath and remind myself that this was a me issue.
I get distracted too.
I forget to be polite.
It’s not that she doesn’t respect me, but that she’s distracted.
The End.
I’ve used this process to talk through daily stuff, like the example above.
But also for deep-seeded issues, like feeling unloved or abandoned.
I’ve been extremely poor most of my life, so having a cheap-therapy process has been a literal life-saver.
What do you think? Is this something you’d try?
