Defining your core values

Your core values often fall into one of two categories:

1) Internal values (values about yourself)

2) External values (values about others)

Internal values often start with an “I am…” statement (PS. Ever heard of “I AM…” affirmations? They’re simply a way to reaffirm these internal values to your unconscious).

External values often start with an “I believe…” statement, and deal with the external and/or philosophical world.

Let’s see some examples of each.

Internal Values

• I am a kind person
• I am a strong-willed person
• I have a strong work ethic
• I can connect with anyone
• I can figure out what to do in any situation

These are all examples of Internal Values — values we have about ourselves.

Sometimes people think their behaviors are their internal values (eg. “I am someone who likes to work on cars”).

However, a behavior is not an internal value, but rather a reflection of an internal value.

If you’re thinking of behaviors while trying to come up with your internal values, try asking yourself, “Who is the type of person who prioritizes __ (the behavior)?”

For example, “Who is the type of person who prioritizes fixing cars?”

When you answer this question, answer it by saying, “I am the type of person who __ (internal value).”

Here are some examples…

• “I am the type of person who believes in hard work.”
• “I am the type of person who believes in fixing something when it breaks.”
• “I am the type of person who is self-reliant.”

Do you see how each of these values could lead to the behavior of fixing a car, but lead to completely different outcomes in other areas?

External Values

• I believe people are mostly good
• I believe people are mostly bad
• I believe in love at first sight
• I believe there is a god
• I believe there is no god

These values dictate the filter through which we see the world and others.

Here’s a quick explanation as to why this is SO CRUCIAL:

Our mind takes in 2 million bits of Data-Per-Second (DPS).

Yet consciously, we’re only able to process 126 bits of DPS.

What happens to all of that other information? It goes through a process in the unconscious I call GDD (it gets Generalized, Distorted, and/or Deleted). Nearly everything you perceive has either been generalized, distorted, and/or deleted in some way by your unconscious.

Generalization — a general statement or concept (or belief) obtained by inference from specific cases (eg. in the past, you’ve sat in a chair and it didn’t break, so you generalize that all chairs will hold you).

Distortion — a change, twist, or exaggeration that makes something appear different from the way it really is.

Deletion — the removal of data.

Reality may exist outside of you, but before you experience it with your conscious mind, it goes through your unconscious — and therefore gets generalized, distorted, and/or deleted.

So how does your unconscious mind know what to generalize, distort, or delete?

If focuses on what you believe to be true, and then GDDs the rest.

In Psychology, we call this process Confirmation Bias.

In real life, we say, “You only see what you want to see.”

The specifics of your beliefs (conscious or unconscious) tell your unconscious what to focus on — therefore telling it which 126 bits of DPS to become consciously aware of, and which 1,999,974 bits of DPS to generalize, distort, or delete altogether.

So if you have a belief around people (e.g. “People are mostly bad”), then your unconscious mind will take that belief and try to find anything in the external world that confirms this belief (e.g. Noticing the coworker who made a snide comment), and then generalize, distort, or delete the rest (e.g. the coworker who goes out of their way to connect with others in the office).

Pretty powerful stuff.

So what I want you to do is write the top 5 values (either internal or external) that you currently have that you would like to still have after your reinvention.

Oftentimes, simply writing out your top 5 values is incredibly enlightening, but sometimes some of your values may surprise you.

If this is the case, grant yourself permission to change your values and beliefs.

You might be a different person at each milestone stage of your life and what you find important today may not have been the case in the past.